5 things that basketball taught me

If you are new to this substack, or you are reading the preview of this article, I realize that it might be a bit disorienting to hear me in my real voice. Most people click through for the satire, the thought leader character. And that will remain the feature of the free articles. For a change of pace, though, I occasionally drop real voice-articles behind the paywall.

For today, it’s hoops. My oldest daughter is playing her first year of basketball in the school system, competing as a homeschooled dual enrollee. I’ve been spending a lot of time lifting weights with her and taking her to the gym to get extra shots up. I’ve also found myself talking a lot about the lessons of basketball, of what the game taught me when I played twenty years ago.

Here are five things I learned:

No one owes me anything

Going from high school basketball to college basketball turned out to be an incredible lesson, because it humiliated and humbled me. I hadn’t been the best player on my high school team, but I thought I was pretty good. When I got to college and started playing against grown men, I was thrown around like a rag doll. My achievements in a league for tiny Christian high schools meant nothing; what mattered now was whether or not I could perform under pressure. Because I wasn’t ready, I was shown to the end of the bench.

What I learned: expect that you will have to earn everything. Humble yourself in advance and prepare to work hard.

It’s not fair

The game is not fair, and it’s never going to be. It’s not fair that I grew to be very tall and other boys did not. It’s not fair that other boys grew to be fast and coordinated, while I was neither of those things. It’s not fair that you can be the best player on the court and still lose, or the worst player on the bench and still win. Basketball can be a cruel game, but that’s why its lessons are so valuable: it gives you a practice run before the cruelties of life.

What I learned: there is always someone who got a different deal than me. Someone will always have an advantage; someone will always catch a break that I didn’t. If I dwell on these things for too long, I will get weighed down.

I’m going to lose

When you watch or play sports, you get fed a stream of platitudes that can bend your perception: Do what it takes to win. Refuse to lose. Put the team on your back. Sometimes, these things are possible. But other times, no matter how much you want to win, no matter what you do, you are going to lose. Sometimes, the other team is just a lot better.