Christian Movie Pitches
Rings By Spring
Synopsis:
As their final year of Christian college approaches, best friends Kayde Grace, Hannah Grace, Bryleigh Kate, and Grace make a vow to each other: each of them will get engaged before graduation. However, the silly promise takes on a life of its own: three of the girls quickly get engaged, but Regular Grace is unexpectedly dumped by her boyfriend during Christmas break. This puts a damper on everyone’s engagement plans, as the friends quickly try to find Grace a fiancé with only one semester left. Can Grace even finish her term papers under the stress of dating a different man every night? What will she do when the captain of the school’s lacrosse team shows her his sensitive side? What about the 40something widower she meets through the Christian dating app Yoked? Will she forgive her ex-boyfriend when he shows up unexpectedly? And what about the improbably hot 23-year-old school janitor who was forced to drop out of med school to care for his disabled sister?
Rings by Spring 2: Knocked Up
Synopsis:
Kayde Grace, Hannah Grace, Bryleigh Kate, and Regular Grace are back, and they have learned nothing. Six months after their opulent quadruple wedding on the beaches of Tulum, the friends are ready for motherhood. During a girls night at Bryleigh Kate’s mansion, the women get tipsy from one half glass of wine apiece, and make yet another vow: they will each get pregnant before the new year, so that their blonde daughters can grow up together and be perfect. However, the plans immediately come off the tracks yet again, because Regular Grace’s husband has trouble…performing under this newfound pressure. Hijinks ensue as Grace’s three friends, who are all now pregnant, give her a series of zany tasks to help her conceive. How will Grace’s husband react when the women dress up the mild-mannered Grace as a sexy superhero to put some spice in the bedroom? What about a role play gone wrong that results in a bomb threat at the local Chick-fil-A? And who is behind the mysterious, unsigned love letters that keep popping up on Grace’s desk at her job as a teacher at an exclusive Brentwood elementary school?
Hard Theology
Trailer:
[“Pomp and Circumstance” plays]
[Distinguished seminary campus full of ivy-covered brick buildings]
[Inside Dean’s office, where two old men in suits and bowties are meeting with a male student]
DEAN SMALLWOOD: Young man, if your great-great-grandfather wasn’t the founder of this prestigious seminary, we would have kicked you out by now!
[The young man is dressed in a neon green and blue short-sleeved shirt that has a surfboard pattern. He is wearing bright yellow shorts and his feet are in sandals. His hair is tousled wildly and falling in his face. He squints at the academics, confused at first, and then suddenly smiles broadly]
FALWELL CHAPMAN, III: Radical!
NARRATOR: In this seminary, everyone is trying to get some…
[Outside, campus sidewalk, two attractive female students are walking to class. They pass Falwell, who has a small charcoal grill set up in the grass and is cooking. He is bare-chested, wearing swim trunks, and has sunblock lotion comically applied to his entire nose. He is wearing a cowboy hat. He plucks a hot dog off the grill with tongs and holds it up to the women]
FALWELL CHAPMAN, III: Ladies, can I offer you a wiener?
NARRATOR: [comically] …THEOLOGY, that is
[Dean’s office, the two academics are harrumphing indignantly to each other about Falwell]
PROFESSOR MOORHEAD: He has the mind of a children’s pastor inside the body of a youth pastor!
NARRATOR: But when the school tries to shut him down…
[Apartment, sparsely furnished, where several students have stopped mid-party to confront Falwell with bad news. Falwell’s best friend, an African American student with a flat top and flip up sunglasses, attempts to convince Falwell of the grave stakes]
VODDIE KINCHLOW: Dean Smallwood says if we don’t win the theology tournament this weekend, then we aren’t allowed to party anymore!
NARRATOR: …they find that he’s FULL of surprises
[Classroom full of mostly male students, including Falwell, who is sitting front and center. The beleaguered, elderly professor is reading from a note someone just handed him]
PROFESSOR MOORHEAD: It appears we have a special guest lecturer today…
[“Oh Yeah” by Yello plays]
[The wooden door to the classroom flies open and smoke from the hallway drifts in. Sydney Sweeney walks to the front of the class, dressed in a toga and carrying a Teen Study Bible]
SYDNEY SWEENEY: I’ve got great genealogies
[Falwell and Voddie look at each other and excitedly give each other a high five]
NARRATOR: Coming this fall
[Dean’s office, where Falwell is facing the two academics. He raises one finger thoughtfully]
FALWELL CHAPMAN, III: You can’t throw me out of seminary…that’s what got Onan in trouble
NARRATOR: The next great faith-based sex comedy
[Classroom, where Sydney Sweeney is standing front and center. She dramatically whips her hair to the side and opens her Teen Study Bible]
SYDNEY SWEENEY: Turn with me in your Bibles to…SONG OF SOLOMON
[Professor Moorhead whimpers and faints, tumbling backward out of his chair to the floor]
FALWELL CHAPMAN, III: [grinning dimwittedly] Radical!
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Call her “Common Grace” to hook the reformed crowd.
"He has the mind of a children’s pastor inside the body of a youth pastor" is the new "Here's looking at you, kid"