Curb Your Evangelism
The year is 2025. Christianity has sent its newest convert, Larry David, into the immoral hellscape of Hollywood, in the hopes of winning souls amongst the celebrity elite…
[Larry David shambles up to a Hollywood mansion, where the sounds of smug debauchery are bleeding through the giant oak doors]
[he knocks, angrily]
[the door opens]
RICKY GERVAIS: Larry! Do you want to come in? Just having a bit of a soiree, an ATHEIST soiree, definitely a lot of evil, perhaps some carnality, a bit of light Satan worshipping, all of my wicked friends are here
EVANGELIST LARRY DAVID: Yeah? Okay, whatever
BILL MAHER: Larry, I heard you were a CHRISTIAN now. You know, that whole Jew-to-Christian thing didn’t work out too well for JESUS, NOW DID IT
[holds for applause]
[no one claps]
BILL MAHER: [oblivious] thank you
[Larry David shrugs and meanders into the party. He begins to serve himself at the food table, leaving the atheist celebrities confused]
RICKY GERVAIS: That’s it? Aren’t you going to, like, try to convert us?
EVANGELIST LARRY DAVID: HAH? What? Say, I see a lot of sandwiches here, but no chips. Who has a sandwich bar with no chips? No Ruffles?
SARAH SILVERMAN: Do it, Larry, convert me, convert me so HARD
[turns and mugs to a camera that isn’t there]
[baby voice]
SARAH SILVERMAN: I’m just a silly billy wittle girl
EVANGELIST LARRY DAVID: [ignoring everyone] My kingdom for a Frito
