EXEGETICALS: The Return
When I started blogging around 2015 on my now-defunct site, one of the first things that caught on was a strange series of fanfic called The Exegeticals, where celebrity pastors and Christian figures banded together to…uh…solve crimes?
Figured we could check back in and see how the boys are doing…
[PHOENIX, AZ]
[TRINITY CHURCH]
[TWO MEN ENTER THE BUILDING, SEARCHING FOR CLUES]
JAMES DOBSON: …and they literally had to close the Panda Express early, because Franklin ate so much Orange Chicken
JOEL OSTEEN: Well I don’t think it’s right to eat pandas
JAMES DOBSON: [stares in Republican]
JOEL OSTEEN: Glory
[AN INTERN WALKS INTO THE ROOM, PLAYING “DOWNFALL” BY TRUST COMPANY ON A NOKIA FLIP PHONE TO ANNOUNCE THE ARRIVAL OF MARK DRISCOLL]
MARK DRISCOLL: What can I help you ladies with
JAMES DOBSON: We’re here to solve a mystery
JOEL OSTEEN: Why did you put churches on Mars
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