Have you prayerfully considered that you might be a dumbass?

As a thought leader, I try to not listen to what other people have to say. This is because of what Paul said in one of those first few books in the Old Testament (which are called the Talmud in the Greek) when he said “be slow to listen or you’ll get angry quickly.” Nevertheless, sometimes I still hear other people’s opinions accidentally. When this happens, I do a quick test: is this common person’s opinion something I agree with? If it is, then they are correct. If I disagree with them, then they are wrong.

If you look at the most famous Protestant thought leaders in history, people like Mother Theresa, Malcolm Luther, Bon Hoffer, or Chad Barth, one thing they all had in common was that they were surrounded by people who were wrong about things. That’s why the Bible has that verse that says “for such a time as this,” which is a good verse to quote because it always make you seem right. Anyway, a large part of being a thought leader is figuring out how to tell other people that they are idiots. It’s like I’m always saying to my pastor: look, if you’re so smart, why did God give me the brand? It makes you think!

Let’s use you as an example: you probably have hundreds of incorrect opinions. I’ll show you how to gently and biblically deal with someone who is a moron. The first rule is to be strategic. Like a homeschooler on the wedding night, you can’t just go in hard, or the whole thing will be over before you’re ready. Remember what Jesus said about that thing, that a little leaven is leavening the something else about leaven. That’s why I never come right out and tell someone they are stupid; it’s always much more satisfying to watch them realize it on their own.

I’ll start by asking you questions. I like to play dumb, which is something that has always come very easily for me, but enough about the homeschoolers on their wedding night.

• That’s an interesting idea; which incorrect assumptions led you to believe that?

• Have you tried asking God to make your opinions better?

• This is a lot like my opinion, only it sucks?

Of course, the problem with asking questions is that people want to answer them, and then you’re in a situation where the other person wants equal attention, which is a real catch-69. So, to be clear, just because I asked you a bunch of questions does not mean that I really care about your answers, or your thoughts, or even you as a person. I’m in the service of a higher calling: to build my brand by getting you to agree with me.

So basically I’m just going to zone out while you talk about yourself. Then, at some point, I’ll come to and check to see if you still believe the wrong thing. If you still won’t agree with me, at that point I have to put up a boundary, which is like a fence I set up around stupid people so that I don’t have to think or feel things. I have no idea if boundaries are healthy or not, I have seen a lot of books about them, but I’m just going to assume that my current opinions are correct.

*Weekly-ish articles are free; periodic special articles are behind the paywall. Substack won’t let me set the monthly subscription lower than $5, so I made the yearly subscription $30, which is $2.50 a month, which seems about right. Thanks for reading :)