Somebody's gonna try the "if Jesus comes back during night time in America, that'll be during day time on the other side of the world" trick. As if Jesus knows anybody on the other side of the world
I see you, using reverse psychology on God! This is the proof of a true theologian, someone who knows God well enough to be able to trick Him! Just like when the hot young secretary walks in and you say "I don't want to hire her, she is "ugly" and needy" and then when you have slept with her you can blame it on the committee for hiring her against your wishes. You are like a modern day Samson, tearing down temples and uncutting babies in half with the power of your mind! That's the real muscle brain of a true Christian thinksman!
Predicting when Jesus won't come back is a safe bet. If he doesn't, you look smart, and if he does, who is really going to follow up on your failed prediction when Jesus is here?
Moment of seriousness (and it's hilarious I have to add that caveat): I always appreciate when you go on long tangents as ETL to make digs at the multiple leaders who were temporarily disgraced but managed to slink away to another unsuspecting flock.
Great stuff; giggling behind my Mr Rogers coffee mug the entire article 🤣
always go to the greek for the new testament, unless it is the old covenant, which was written in latin but translated to hebrew by john piper. if it is the apocalypse (which some orthodox and popes use, also edgy protestants), it was written in the original french, because of linguistics. as you can see, 'apocalypse' is a clear reference to calypso, a dance from france.
i support this article's connotations obviously, time zones are a fake secularism
Matthew, I have to pick up suit at the tailor. Will Jesus return before I get it? Should I get it so I look goooood? Or is there a Big and Tall store in heaven
Does anyone else feel like the ETL is becoming a little more unhinged? I'm not sure if it's all those 21 year old hot women tempting him, but he's a little less coherent than he normally is. I wonder if he feels very threatened by AI and those other famous preachers that have used Chat GPT to write their sermons and restoration committee repentance speeches.
Maybe he will go to a special ETL rehab facility? Let's pray for him.
Somebody's gonna try the "if Jesus comes back during night time in America, that'll be during day time on the other side of the world" trick. As if Jesus knows anybody on the other side of the world
multiculturalism imo
Jesus has a chance to do the funniest thing…
Tuesday is coming...!
I see you, using reverse psychology on God! This is the proof of a true theologian, someone who knows God well enough to be able to trick Him! Just like when the hot young secretary walks in and you say "I don't want to hire her, she is "ugly" and needy" and then when you have slept with her you can blame it on the committee for hiring her against your wishes. You are like a modern day Samson, tearing down temples and uncutting babies in half with the power of your mind! That's the real muscle brain of a true Christian thinksman!
Predicting when Jesus won't come back is a safe bet. If he doesn't, you look smart, and if he does, who is really going to follow up on your failed prediction when Jesus is here?
Moment of seriousness (and it's hilarious I have to add that caveat): I always appreciate when you go on long tangents as ETL to make digs at the multiple leaders who were temporarily disgraced but managed to slink away to another unsuspecting flock.
Great stuff; giggling behind my Mr Rogers coffee mug the entire article 🤣
always go to the greek for the new testament, unless it is the old covenant, which was written in latin but translated to hebrew by john piper. if it is the apocalypse (which some orthodox and popes use, also edgy protestants), it was written in the original french, because of linguistics. as you can see, 'apocalypse' is a clear reference to calypso, a dance from france.
i support this article's connotations obviously, time zones are a fake secularism
👏🏼.
What about those people in Alaska where the sun never sets? Surely Jesus won't abandon the frozen chosen?
Samoan woman 🤣🤣🤣
At the risk of quoting the Evil One (you know, Disney): a very second un-Second Birthday to Him (to Him?) to Him!
Matthew, I have to pick up suit at the tailor. Will Jesus return before I get it? Should I get it so I look goooood? Or is there a Big and Tall store in heaven
in heaven we will all be tall
Does anyone else feel like the ETL is becoming a little more unhinged? I'm not sure if it's all those 21 year old hot women tempting him, but he's a little less coherent than he normally is. I wonder if he feels very threatened by AI and those other famous preachers that have used Chat GPT to write their sermons and restoration committee repentance speeches.
Maybe he will go to a special ETL rehab facility? Let's pray for him.
sir i have never been the slightest bit hinged
Who is this Herman fellow anyways?