I got in trouble once for having shoulders in church, so now sometimes when its warm outside I wear my calves and ankles to church as well as my shoulders. Now at my chruch, whenever I walk in, all of the men's faces melt off like that nazi's face at the end of Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark.
As a woman with breasts and a butt, I hate to tell ya. I also have a VA Jay Jay. Distressing I know. Slippery slope be damned, I didn't even ask for it, my lady parts were granted by, I believe, the Creator, no?
OMG i started off thinking that this was a real Conservatives think piece. I am so glad I was correct. I have ben trying to get my church to pay for Bre#$t reductions and rear end reductions for years Thankyou for this, I will take this to my mens group tonight.
On a hike in college I was so afraid of my baptist boyfriend seeing my ass that when I had to go to the bathroom I just shit my own pants instead of asking to go in the bushes nearby. I hope he's still a virgin because if he's not then my sacrifice was in vain.
I have not laughed so hard at anything on the internet for a very long time. This did my soul so much good today!
This is writing genius.
I got in trouble once for having shoulders in church, so now sometimes when its warm outside I wear my calves and ankles to church as well as my shoulders. Now at my chruch, whenever I walk in, all of the men's faces melt off like that nazi's face at the end of Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark.
Do you also show your Jeze-belly???
Tell me that's not a term anyone used without irony.
I was born with just a regular belly, so I don't have a Jeze-belly, to show.
As someone who was bludgeoned by and internalized the stumbling block message from a very tender age, I love this.
I can't wait for the people that don't understand satire to take this seriously
As a woman with breasts and a butt, I hate to tell ya. I also have a VA Jay Jay. Distressing I know. Slippery slope be damned, I didn't even ask for it, my lady parts were granted by, I believe, the Creator, no?
OMG i started off thinking that this was a real Conservatives think piece. I am so glad I was correct. I have ben trying to get my church to pay for Bre#$t reductions and rear end reductions for years Thankyou for this, I will take this to my mens group tonight.
This is the kind of humor that one can appreciate only if they've actually read their bibles! I love it!
This is one of the funniest things I think I have EVER read in my entire life.
On a hike in college I was so afraid of my baptist boyfriend seeing my ass that when I had to go to the bathroom I just shit my own pants instead of asking to go in the bushes nearby. I hope he's still a virgin because if he's not then my sacrifice was in vain.
brooke
12 epistles! Lol. Balaam rode an ass so hard.. Go to the Greek!
Thank you so much for sharing your brilliant mind with us!! 😊
Please replace the Babylon Bee 😂
Heh I see you also have found this guy.
Haha you know it! 😎
This was hilarious.
I haven’t laughed out loud so much reading a post before this.
maybe u need to read less classy think pieces
I looked at a peach this morning, visually, and wanted to have a sex so bad!
The peach was on veggie tales. Your Childrens programming may never be the same.
Username checks out.
Give this fellow a medal and another one in case they lose the first! Masterpiece