23 Comments

Playing devil’s advocate = 🚫

Playing devil’s aggregate = ✅

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So many lexicons get crossed this way when not enough legs have been! That's called muddling the mixers, which is something else the Romans invented, because they come from the Latin, which is why no Christian should ever listen to Shakira when it was Barbara Striesand who wanted Inigo Montoya to know she had breasts. He hated waiting since he wasn't a crockpot.

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this is too much truth stephanie, u will be canceled for this

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Please understand that all truth is the fault of my breasts.

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sounds like u just came up with the title of your bestseller imo

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Oct 23, 2023Liked by matthew pierce

I’ve long contended to my wife that my holiness is in direct correlation to the frequency with which I can see her breasts. She hasn’t come all the way around yet, but she will get there as she gets holier.

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Isn't the goal to be holy all the time? Your wife needs to get the memo! And you potentially need to move to where state laws allow holiness for women as well as men

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Oct 22, 2023Liked by matthew pierce

This is brilliant. My favorite so far!

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I choked because I laughed so hard. So awfully close to the actual freaking nonsense we were taught. Thanks for making me laugh about it and also maybe want to break a plate… or maybe a crock pot! 😅😆🙃

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i think u are allowed to break plates as long as u have a cami on underneath

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Oh good! So relieved to know I won’t be causing anyone to stumble over the shards of glass in my cleavage.

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This...is...just....perfect! Thank you. Lol

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Oct 22, 2023Liked by matthew pierce

It makes you think indeed.

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Christians are wise to question anything that ends with -age which denotes the filling of something: Cleavage (of course), sewerage, silage, and sausage. Stop visualizing.

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Scheduling bewb removal surgery because Jesus said if your appendage makes sin cut it off. Thank u for engaging the culture so boldly.

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very dangerous imo, could make the doctor stumble

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Let's maybe not mix drugs and alcohol next time.

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i only get high on Jesus ruth

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Ain’t no high like the Most High

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On a more serious note, one starts to wonder how many of these Evangelical Thought Leaders are just ChatGBT in a false beard + designer sportscoat.

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Covering all the way = too sexy. Covering part way = even more too sexy. I see where you're going with this...

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“Gaslighting is a form of privilege”?

“If you eye offends you, it’s because there’s wood in there…”?

Have you actually READ the scriptures???

This entire article is so far off & is absurd.

Jesus said, “if your eye offends you, pluck it out!” and, “why do you pick at the splinter in your brother’s eye when there is a log in your own?”

There is NOTHING about “wood” equating to erections.

I’ve never read anything so ridiculous.

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