17 Comments

Fucking gold

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Nov 4Liked by matthew pierce

I am waiting in the school parking lot for my kid and this just made my day. I know all those people! You sir, have a true gift. Keep it coming!

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Nov 6Liked by matthew pierce

Oh Billy Wayne. He comes to church during fellowship hour and sits at a table and chats with some friends and never goes into the sanctuary, as far as I know. The last time I chatted with him he introduced me to that viral hard rock version of "The sound of silence"

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This is too funny. LOL! Good one. I don't know want to know what "the old youth pastor Caleb doing that thing on his phone."

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Billy at my church was named Joe Perdue and he rode a motorcycle and dated a couple of the women in the congregation for a bit but it never became anything. He looked 50 for my entire childhood. The women he dated over the years were coincidentally both probably lesbians but living The Single Life in rural Iowa so there is no confirming this.

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don’t even know where to start, in terms of a reply. roll tide

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founding

"Branch" 🤣

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he works with the money

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He was born wearing a golf polo and khakis. His face looks exactly the same as it did when he was a baby.

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correct

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"a Church Kid Late-Onset Sexy Phase" THIS IS A THING for any doubters out there

I went to a private Christian school, too, so I most def know

That unchecked Mom-vibe girl also really prefers to talk to moms of kids her age (read: me) over, well, the kids her age. Vaguely distressing but easy enough to walk away and if needed, go ask Billy Wayne about what topic he's been "researching" lately.

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shout out to all the mildly slutty 24 year old former church kids checking out their own butt in the planet fitness mirrors

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Make one about a slutty rebellious teenager who “tempts all the men” has an eating disorder, divorced parents and a tumultuous relationship with her mother

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*laughing nervously*

why, do u know anyone like that

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Definitely not my exact personal story AT ALL!

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ain’t my church.

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