26 Comments

"There are different kinds of pastor’s kids, and Squints is definitely the Absalom strain: charismatic, but lacking guardrails. "

I think this line made my day 🤣

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I’m inspired

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Oh and it's worth noting that there is a Smalls to Benny pipeline that is underappreciated in youth group lore.

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Bless Ham.

(I am Ham.)

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Me too!

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I was Smalls, but a wallflower with both of my siblings until senior year when I went on a week-long service trip an hour away in inner city Omaha and made temporary friendships with half the youth group worship team (they stopped talking to me as soon as I went to college).

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i feel like “inner city omaha” would be a good intramural flag football team name

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I never went to youth group as a teen (my family was part of an ultra-legalistic homeschool group who thought youth group was Of The Devil…even though they totally held once-a-month teen only gatherings that were mostly games with a bit of worship time at the end, but those totally weren’t youth group /s) but as far as I’m aware you nailed these archetypes

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ah. i was frequently pulled out of youth group because it was "too worldly," and instead shooed towards the homeschool co-op classes that taught Understanding the Times as an end-times text. anyway, not a lot going on in the babe department during those years

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My first quasi-girlfriend was a girl I met at Summit Ministries the summer before my senior year of high school. We broke up because of a misunderstanding about the Green Day "Time Of Your Life" song.

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we talking bryan college summit ministries? understanding the times worldview classes?

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i feel a homeschool crew tweet marinating

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The Colorado mothership with Dr. Noebel himself!

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ah. well, they send the undesirables down to tennessee to wander around on the mountain with noebel's acolytes

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It’s like The Hunger Games but with people who will one day either deconstruct or work for the Heritage Foundation.

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As a mom, of young children who we want to homeschool...

I just heard of Summit...

Regret? I know it's like 10+ years away... but.... I'd like to know your thoughts!

Reply, or DM me.

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regret of summit/understanding the times? not really, i guess. it was a bit overly serious for teens, and sort of fostered the "it's up to you to save the world" hero narrative that a lot of homeschool families of that time bought into. but i wouldn't say it was harmful or anything. teenage me got to sit next to girls, so that was cool, lol

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Got to sit next to girls... 😂 you need to put a bible in between you to make sure you're properly distanced, tho?!

Thank you for your reply!

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caveat here of it's been a long time, and i don't know the people who run it now, or what it's like

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I never really went to youth group, but this maps PERFECTLY to dudes in the 31-person class at my roughly 125-person private Christian school. Seriously, specific names and faces were appearing before me. Reading this was a real Milestone for me, a Wake-Up Call for sure

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This is spot on!!

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this is so gloriously not on-brand for you (aside from the format); it's apocalyptic in an almost tender sort of way.

thank you for sharing.

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have to keep my enemies guessing

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Flashback to Jensen Ackles' one and only appearance on Wishbone, unlocked. Wow, this is so good! I am loving the combo of humor and heart on this one. And dead-on profiling. Rich stuff.

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thank you stephanie. if not for the jensen ackles types*, i would have gotten so many dates with babes during youth group

*also: stifling purity culture legalism, lack of physical attractiveness, and crippling geek vibes, but whatever

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I take that flack entirely personally as both an unrecovered JA stan and fellow late bloomer in allllll those ways :P

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