One thing I’ve learned on my graduation trip is that the world tries to convince you it isn’t hellish. But then I go back home and am instantly reminded how much life sucks.
TLDR: "But there is bad news, too. Some of us won’t die right away. We will linger in the hellscape, twisting and withering like blades of grass shrinking from an approaching fire. We are the cursed ones, condemned to wander the charred earth paying bills and slowly turning into our parents. This is what adulthood is."
That's all ya need to know, folks, have a great day!
As one of the guys who conducts new member interviews at our church, "you're 41" is a level of true so bright and shining it can be seen from space.
Uproariously funny. I would stab someone with a stick and/or rock to hear this speech given to an unsuspecting graduating class.
Using AI?! Are we not going to have sticks and rocks anymore in this tortured, apocalyptic theoretical future? Worse than I could've imagined!
Pretty sure I heard this in a homily once…
Never thought I would hear the name Starflyer 59 mentioned again in my lifetime—yet here we are.
sounds like u need a housewife love song
IYKYK
One thing I’ve learned on my graduation trip is that the world tries to convince you it isn’t hellish. But then I go back home and am instantly reminded how much life sucks.
Bro stop. You have me and my brand to get you through and you know it.
You keep reminding me
I’m the speaker at a graduation ceremony this weekend — I may just read them your article instead, Matthew.
do it and tell them it was written by alan noble
Excellent idea
TLDR: "But there is bad news, too. Some of us won’t die right away. We will linger in the hellscape, twisting and withering like blades of grass shrinking from an approaching fire. We are the cursed ones, condemned to wander the charred earth paying bills and slowly turning into our parents. This is what adulthood is."
That's all ya need to know, folks, have a great day!
The lost appendix to the Book of Wisdom
The Brand line…. ROFLOL
I hope a Joy Electric reference is next.
too powerful. the people aren't ready
Heavy metal shirts aren't funny, after all.
I haven't even read the article, but THAT TITLE PHOTO THOUGH
I am graduating this week and really needed to hear this. Man, I really need to obtain one of these brand thingies.
(Ringbyspring?)