Trump is Not a Perfect Christian. Or is He?

My friends, Christians have gone political again.

Probably the greatest Christian president we’ve ever had was Jimmy Carter, who was a conservative farmer from Georgia who fought against Hollywood elites like Ronald Reagan. Wherever Carter went, he helped people, like Hugo Chavez.

But then Donald Trump defeated Carter in the last presidential election. Now, some Christians are upset, because they say that Donald Trump is not a good Christian. As believers, this puts us between a hard rock and a place. When is it our place to judge our leaders’ character?

Let’s get back to squared one: we must always do what is best for our brand.

I do not understand why people are angry at Trump, because that issue involves facts. Facts are other people’s opinions. When you are a thought leader, you must only deal with your own opinions, so that you know you will be correct. This is called ethics, which is a part of theology.

Here is what I understand: if there are think pieces out there saying that Trump is being sinful, I need to go the other way, for the sake of my brand. And I phrased my premise in the title as a question, so I am not tied to either side of the argument. This is also ethics.

Here are the so-called problems with Trump, followed by my thoughts:

He is from New York

Is it possible for someone from New York to be a Christian? Well, generally speaking, no. Years ago, Tim Keller went to New York on a mission trip to start a church, and how did that go? You don’t hear much from him these days.

It is true that Trump is from New York, but let’s look closer: Trump left the state and moved to Florida. Not only is this giving Baptist, but it also counts as the Benedict Option.

He is a womanizer

One thing I am always saying to the restoration committee is “maybe the real question is why all these women are so attracted to me.” But then the committee gets a spirit of divisiveness and says things like “seven different 22 year old women are not attracted to an aging married man, also you were offering them Winter Jam tickets.”

Anyway, many people say that Trump sleeps with porn stars, but if this was true, then why have I never see him in the porn videos I watch? It makes you think. And if he does talk to a lot of women, maybe it is because he is sharing the Gospel. Someone has to do outreach to hot women, which is another thing I say to the committee.

He is mean

Some Christians have a problem with Trump simply because he is constantly saying and doing mean things. Let’s go over this with a fine tuned comb: do you know who else is always doing and saying mean things? That’s right: children. And what did Jesus think about children? He didn’t like them, of course. If you go to the Greek, you find that Jesus got into a boat and went out into the Sea of Gilead because the children wouldn’t leave Him alone. And then an angel disturbed the water, which made Peter fall in, which was ableist, because all the disabled people tried to go into the water to save him. Then Jesus had to heal a crippled guy, to keep him from drowning, and then some other things happened, which are also in the Greek. But the point is this: when Peter fell into the water, he sank like a stone, which is why Jesus called him Cephas, which means “Peter.”

He does not respect the Newsboys

Only God can judge the respect that any Christian has for the Newsboys. It is not for us to say. I instructed my team to find evidence of Trump performing with the band, and this is what they gave me. I also instructed them to find me more Winter Jam tickets, because I seem to have run out.

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