37 Comments
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Susan's avatar

I started LOL-ing (if this is still a thing) at the list of Christian books on the market, especially at 'I am a beautiful woman in a wide-brimmed hat', and kept going... Love this liturgical word salad of hot takes!

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Clint Wrede's avatar

Oh, Braxton and Brayden

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Heather Cadenhead's avatar

I once went to a homeschool conference full of women in wide-brimmed hats and I have never felt more conspicuous being hatless in my life.

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matthew pierce's avatar

my youth pastor warned me about worldly girls like u, smh

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Scott Delaney's avatar

Clever.

Whatever compelled you to write this, follow that prompting. It was a Lit Urge.

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Amy Carlin's avatar

You forgot about the other twins, Brinkley and Bisquick, who are on the synchronized swimming travel team.

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Michael & Melissa Wear's avatar

This is eight paragraphs or something like that and I laughed out loud at least five times.

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matthew pierce's avatar

i shall try harder next time sir/ma’am

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crosson gray's avatar

😭😭😭bro I’m dying

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Kristen Jarnes Browning's avatar

Brilliant! This might be my favorite piece of yours, ever, and I’m a fan of them all.

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Christie R's avatar

I just stumbled across this Substack a few days ago. You have a gift! Why is “What if Bible True?”so funny to me?😆

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Rachel Joy Welcher's avatar

Needed this.

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Phil Christman's avatar

Even the secular world recognizes the need for Liturgy in these troubling times, that’s why Fantano gave their last album a nine point something grade

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Sarah Coppin's avatar

This is so incredibly funny I don’t know what to do with myself.

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matthew pierce's avatar

the next one will be even worse

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Rob's avatar

Let's be real, Brayden's the star. Braxton's just there for the bubble gum and superfluous wrist bands. Either way, it's worth the $20k/year I'm paying for each of them, so Brayden can get a $8k scholarship in 10 years.

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matthew pierce's avatar

deep cut. respect

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Alan's avatar

"Because Liturgy" would be a good title for a book.

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Tsh Oxenreider's avatar

I'm glad you listed, in bullet points, the five Christian book recipes that are published now. Someone needed to raise awareness.

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matthew pierce's avatar

we used to give book deals to stars of duck dynasty in this country

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Matthew Jepsen's avatar

Is that the rare out-of-production Precious Moments Magic Eight Ball you are talking about? Always wanted one of those.

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