9 Comments

Oh, so that's what Lampshades on Fire is all about! Been listening to that gal CCM band Modest Church Mouse and never put two & two together.

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Mar 23Edited

You missed one situation that you need to address with your next addition: is there a baptism? We know what the early church fathers taught for everyone involved in the baptism. Of course, if she's just using her hands as a suit already, she's pretty much there and just needs to move them/have them moved.

Also, I think you've overlooked how married women have it a lot easier. They belong to their husbands and their body is technically the same as his body. So, technically, if he's wearing a suit, he's got her covered and she doesn't need to bother with anything more than that.

For an unmarried woman, it might at first seem unfair. But, not to worry. She belongs to her father, so her father wearing a swimsuit has her technically covered, too. If she doesn't have a father, her church elders can suffice (and they'll be "dressed" for the baptism, anyway).

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Can we wear a regular swimsuit if we aren't at all hot? Oh right, I forgot, we HAVE to be smokin hot like the Bible commands in that verse about the lukewarm women being spit out.

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I don't see where the command to be smoking hot ends when on the beach. But we do know that modest is hottest.

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Hmmm, this is an excellent point. We're supposed to be smoking' hot only our husbands can see it (perhaps they can be issues special glasses?) but the hotness must be vaguely perceived by all other men so that the husband is made proud. But not in public but also in public but not on the beach but definitely in like a beach cabana. It's all very clear and very easy to do.

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Right. The hotness must be acknowledged by other men but not like, you know, *acknowledged*. The woman must simultaneously be hot in public but not hot in public. Just like she needs to be modest but modest is hottest of all so she needs to avoid that, too.

Tbh, I think I came up with the easiest solution to the problem, which I identified in my comment about women belonging to their husband, father, or elders. Whichever man is the relevant authority for her, she's his body and so his swimsuit (or whatever clothing is relevant for the situation if somewhere else) is sufficient for both ;)

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You have the gift of discernment, truly.

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Thank you for your kind words. I wouldn't consider myself particularly wise, but I'm glad I could help a woman in a confusing situation. I suppose it's due to my being a man. We know that the Bible says women are confused and so must submit to a man. I hope my discernment has helped you see through the confusion and discover that belonging to a man is liberating (of confusion and of the burden of clothes)

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Keds

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