9 Comments
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Alexandria's avatar

One of your best matthew! Thank you for using your jester skills to say what many of us feel but can't say.

Joel's avatar

This. This is phenomenal.

It isn’t even comedy. This is what all those people who shall not be named would actually write if they were being completely honest.

Robin Thinks's avatar

I realize this is supposed to be comedy, but the sad thing is it is just too damn spot on to really be able to laugh at.

I wonder if Evangelicals are ever going to admit that what literally sealed the deal for them was Trump talking about “grabbing a woman by the (you-know-what).” Instead of being horrified by it, as all the “libtard” women were, it just cemented Trump’s godhood status among so-called “Conservatives”, who secretly deep down just want women to STFU and go back to being sex objects.

Crist is literally now bigger than ever for sexually harassing women. It’s crazy that this “comedy” piece you wrote isn’t even actually comedy because it’s just too damn true.

JW's avatar

This is clearly a roast of John Crist, and I’m here for it.

Dawn's avatar

Highest of fives.

Ed Burton's avatar

"the person who has suffered the most is my brand" ... wow. Yep. A person can certainly be their brand in one setting, and (hopefully) an actual person elsewhere. I do not recommend.

Laura's avatar

Oof. This is too real to be funny. Very clever though, as usual!