Out of all the seasons where Christian women have to practice modesty, probably summer is in the top 4. But why is modesty only for women? If we go to the Greek, we see that Eve was deceived by the serpent. And this is why a boy’s private part is shaped like a snake: so that when a Christian lady is like
Does my KIA Sedona say, "Lo! Upon yonder street corner is the Crack Whore/Alcoholic in 'If We Are the Body'?" You know, because there is no kill switch on the crappy plastic ignition and you can steal it with a flat-head?
The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormy Daniels...OMG!..Do you say these things out loud in real life? You might be one of those people not to sit by at a funeral unless you want to be posthumously removed from the will for inappropriate, uncontrollable laughing (or sharting).
OK, I hear your heart here, but if I find my daughter were to be at the beach with nothing covering her but a Town & Country, I would send her to purity camp at once.
I won’t ever be able to accurately express how happy I am that one day as I accidentally laid down my copy of Wild at Heart (yes, I am a female) and accidentally stumbled across a tweet by you, I suddenly remembered how to laugh. Sincere, tears in the eyes, belly laughs. Obviously while clothed in several layers of burlap though because as we know from the Greek “She that laughs too hard may cause a man to sin by bringing his attention to her jiggly parts.” Thanks Matthew. You’ve got yourself a certified Toot and Nail fan for life.
I intend to wear a combination of my 2-year-old and a llama-sized bag of her toys and necessities. Cloaking yourself in the materials of motherhood is the MOST modest + Christian.
Boy, I am so glad you wrote this! Thank you! Tryina get a man to tell you what God thinks you should wear in the summer is like tryina get a camel through the eye of a needle! It's exhausting!
I was good until the llama sharted into the river tbh
Dude... the Chrysler Town & Country... that's HAHAHA!
Amazing as always matthew
Does my KIA Sedona say, "Lo! Upon yonder street corner is the Crack Whore/Alcoholic in 'If We Are the Body'?" You know, because there is no kill switch on the crappy plastic ignition and you can steal it with a flat-head?
The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormy Daniels...OMG!..Do you say these things out loud in real life? You might be one of those people not to sit by at a funeral unless you want to be posthumously removed from the will for inappropriate, uncontrollable laughing (or sharting).
The four seasons where Christian women have to practice modesty:
4. Probably summer
3. Kind of summer
2. Definitely summer
1. Lent
OK, I hear your heart here, but if I find my daughter were to be at the beach with nothing covering her but a Town & Country, I would send her to purity camp at once.
The llama made me laugh so hard I think *I* sharted…
A Toyota Sienna is right out.
I won’t ever be able to accurately express how happy I am that one day as I accidentally laid down my copy of Wild at Heart (yes, I am a female) and accidentally stumbled across a tweet by you, I suddenly remembered how to laugh. Sincere, tears in the eyes, belly laughs. Obviously while clothed in several layers of burlap though because as we know from the Greek “She that laughs too hard may cause a man to sin by bringing his attention to her jiggly parts.” Thanks Matthew. You’ve got yourself a certified Toot and Nail fan for life.
My favorite is the llama. I wish I’d had one of those for church camp in 1997.
I intend to wear a combination of my 2-year-old and a llama-sized bag of her toys and necessities. Cloaking yourself in the materials of motherhood is the MOST modest + Christian.
This is my favorite yet. Actually the van is what got me the most. I still refuse to drive one to this day.
This is a masterpiece
Boy, I am so glad you wrote this! Thank you! Tryina get a man to tell you what God thinks you should wear in the summer is like tryina get a camel through the eye of a needle! It's exhausting!
I am CRYING. Thank you. These posts are my favorite thing.