9 Comments
User's avatar
Griffin Gooch's avatar

sir, I’m afraid you’re missing an axiom, which is the basic particle of chemical elements, and a word that signals that you have nothing of substance left with which to win the argument with your wife, who was a pk: you talk big game about youth travel, sports and all the bells - the whistles, too - but you don’t, AT ALL, seemed concerned with overnight lockins. a place of which I keenly remember was the only spot I could hold Phoebe Prentiss’ hand when I was in sixth grade, unsupervised. to talk big man talk about travel ball games and missing youth church is one thing but to not mention all night lock ins, the statistical number one place to lose eternal security, is to reveal yourself a menace

Expand full comment
Clint Wrede's avatar

"This proves that he was homeschooled." Yes.

Expand full comment
Ed Bailey's avatar

When told my Sunday School—which I attended Religiously because my mother was the Vicar and that meant I had Responsibilities—that my parents had had sexes because I was Born, they said that I could play Any Sports outside and that is why I am very good at jumping.

Expand full comment
Boris Feigin's avatar

Just wanted to say I absolutely love these articles 😂😂 massive respect 🤣🙌

Expand full comment
Joy LaPrade's avatar

“I did not receive an honorary degree from seminary to let other Christians think for themselves.” 🏆

Expand full comment
Paul Wilkinson's avatar

A very accurate article, except for the part about youth, the part about sports, the part about Jesus, the part about hell, and the part about quiz teams. Other than that...

Expand full comment
matthew pierce's avatar

it’s like i’m always telling the restoration committee: my strength is my consistency

Expand full comment
Justin Allison's avatar

Hermegesis. That's gold! 😂

Expand full comment
Jaimie's avatar

That was my fav, and it came right after Visa Visa, so I was already primed to cackle

Expand full comment