29 Comments

I saw Sex Whistles when they opened for Bad Company.

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"Sadly, many Christian couples do not love each other enough to follow each other around and use sex whistles."

Suggest that to the Transformed Wife, she'll think it's brilliant.

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i choose to believe she is a nice lady who likes to collect transformers. i do not require further information on this matter

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Ohhhhhh you are missin out

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on a serious note, people send me her stuff a lot. i grew up in the homeschool movement around women like her. hard to joke with those folks because they want you to hate them, makes them feel validated and set apart

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Oh yeah. I have one side of my family that I "lost" contact with that's got a lot of those types.

Strangely -- or maybe not strangely -- they've got this mix between Transformed Wife types and a different sort of homeschooling conservative evangelical mom that's actually totally in charge, and from what I've witnessed, it seems THEY ALSO get the heebie jeebies from the Transformed Wife ones.

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homeschool mom girl boss. i am familiar

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The mixed metaphors are so niche, it’s amazing. Scratches the part of my brain that loves my religious upbringing and also desperately wants to make fun of it.

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Sex whistle?! Can I get that at Lifeway?

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I think so but you have to give them a password; you could prolly get out from your church life coach

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I really like to imagine that the noxious clouds - preceding the ground crumbling and fire bursting forth - begin in that photo, and that the guy standing there so confidently is the first to go, he is such a dude bro and definitely has a lust -> mindsex. This is called righteous indignation if you go to the Greek

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Husband and I are losing our minds 😭

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A pertinent reminder of the dangers of temptations. We must pull off all clothes to stay pure...er, sorry, pull out all stops, yeah, that's what I meant :P

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I notice the guy in the photo is looking out at mountains, which remind him of bosoms, which=mindsex. Can you blame mountains?

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Helpful information, but unclear whether the mountains could be blamed for causing lust. Are they shaped that way because of the Fall? I mean, volcanoes are probably a result of the Fall, so probably before the Fall everything was unsuggestive prairies, which makes sense since midwesterners are more conservative. Maybe that's why the mountains will be made level in the new heavens and new earth.

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what was delirious trying to tell us with “did you feel the mountains tremble?”

makes u think

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My youth pastor was always pulling the guys aside on Sunday morning to ask that.

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(I am from British Columbia and let me tell you, the Rockies are hard to compete with.)

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Wtf did I just read!? No it’s not the women’s body it’s guys that can’t control themselves. If it wasn’t for the women’s body none of you useless men would even be here! Gross! Christianity is disgusting and was only created to control people and take their money.

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Even writing that phrase, “lies with” makes the mind sexes start going and then I have to find someone to blame for it, Eve maybe or that girl who lied with David, whoever it is I’m sure glad it isn’t my fault….

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Thank you dear brother for reminding everyone where the true issue with sexual temptation lies, and it’s definitely not with me, wherever that was….

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definitely not with me, whoever else it lies with.

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“Sadly many Christian couples do not love eachother…”. FULL STOP.

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Please post the Amazon link to the sex whistle?

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Note to self, do not read Matthew while having dinner at Baker's Square. Everyone wants to know what you're giggling about.

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maybe u should stand up and read it to everyone

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I just love your stuff. As someone also raised in the homeschool movement, coming here makes me feel like I'm back in my culture and I understand all the references. Which of course makes the comedy even more hilarious. I loved your 700 Club reference a couple of posts ago 🤣

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ben kinchlow remembers

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